Learning To Love Myself Again

Hi Sweet Friends,

Welcome to the Coffee Chat Devotional. I am so excited that you could join me. A dear friend of mine reached out to me this week about possibly doing a devotional about life and the ups and downs young women face. So Today, I'm excited to jump back into blogging and begin the Coffee Chat Devotional. Where we talk about the triumphs and trials, changes and challenges, and everything in between. This is going to be raw and real. Discussing the different stages of my life that I haven't shared with anyone before. The events that a paper, a pen and a guitar only know. From relationships with HIM and how to find Him in our everyday lives. To learning to love ourselves, traveling and transformations, best friends, and REALLY great coffee combinations! It's a reminder that nothing is too broken for God to heal or redeem, and to dare to say yes to the plan he has for our lives.

This part of the devotional is all about IDENTITY. About feeling comfortable in your own skin and learning to truly love ourselves instead of being our own worst critics, so are you ready!?

Like I mentioned, everything is going to be honest, raw, and real. To that, there have been many season in my life when I just cannot give myself a break! Every time I look in the mirror, every action, every thought, is just a reminder that I fell short of all the things that I could be, could do, or could look like but don't.

Until this past year, I've never really been confident in my own skin. Where do I begin...
Most don't know this, but I grew up wrestling. I started hitting the mat when I was in fourth grade. Despite the harsh comments by others, I absolutely loved the sport, I struggled to make weight all the time! Eating little to nothing. When I made weight, I finally felt good about myself; however, I was starving, fragile, and weak.

During my freshman year of high school, I tried out for the dance team. Where we would dance during basketball half time shows and wrestling meets. During tryouts, I overheard the captain talk with her girl friend about the new outfits and stating, "With the new outfits and all, she's a little too big, and I just don't think she would be a good fit for the team." Reminder, I was weighing in for wrestling meets at 112 lbs. After the season, I quickly gained 25-30 lbs and ate everything in sight. I literally ate EVERYTHING in sight. Why? Because I finally could!

After high school, I moved to college. Over 1,000 miles away, and I was ready to take my health into my own hands and I did. Eating healthy, working out through the demands of a D1 college track and field program. Once it was time for our field event practices to start, it was almost like I was back on the weight watchers program. I was a pole vaulter and the meet officials were very strict about not weighing more than the weight listed on the pole. The numbers on the scale numbers starred me in the face once again.

Fast forward to today, where I am FINALLY back at a point where I'm confident in my own Skin! How did I do it!?

1. Threw out the scale! I had let the number on the scale define who I was from fourth grade up until a year ago. Girls, let me tell you the number on the scale doesn't define you! You are NOT a number, you are so much more.

2. I stopped comparing myself to others. I would regularly compare myself to co-workers, friends, family, and even people that I didn't know! Reality is, she isn't you, and you are not her! You are uniquely you and he created you in His image. There is so much beauty in that!

3. Heads up...this is the hardest on ever! Every morning before I put on makeup or did anything, I would stand in front of a mirror and look myself in the eye and tell myself 3 things that I loved about me. I still do this every morning and it trips me up sometimes, but I continue to find new things that I absolutely love about myself.

4. Prayer - The greatest weapon is prayer! Through the struggle, He became my best friend and He still is!

Life is too hard and far too short to be our own worst critics and it never seems to help us get any better anyway. Good things don't come out of shame. Good things come out of kindness, support, and encouragement. I encourage you to talk to yourself as you would a friend. "Great job," "You're beautiful".... And if you never are your own worst critic let's meet up so you can teach me your ways.

Take time this week to pay more attention to your thoughts. What kind of things are you saying to yourself. Are you your own worst critic or do you talk to yourself like a friend.

Have a blessed day!
- Bobbi LeAnn

Champions of Christ

This past weekend, I had the great honor of sharing during the Cowboy Church Service at the Brady Wakefield Timed Event Championship in Ponca, Nebraska. The event celebrate the life of a significant young man and brought close family and friends under one roof to participate in a sport that he had a great passion for. 

I was very fortunate to grow up with Brady. From church goings, to school events, and weekend horse shows and rodeos. He loved to joke around and always carried a positive attitude. To many of us, he was an inspiration.

A while back, I submitted myself this a facebook 24 hour Bible verse challenge. Essentially, I had to post a video on facebook of me saying what my favorite verse was and challenge four others to do the same thing. I challenged Brady to this, and within 10 minutes he posted his video of his favorite verse Jeremiah 29:11. This verse is something that Brady modeled as an individual and as an athlete.

Whether you know it or not, God wants you to be a champion. Jeremiah 29:11 states, “He has a plan for you, plans to prosper.” He wants you in the race pushing toward that destiny. There will be times when God will want you to stretch your faith and take more ground. He has put a fire in each one of us. A desire to achieve our greatest dreams and to be the absolute best.

We all have dreams. Some may want to work in the medical field, others in finance, while some prefer to rope and ride for the rest of their life. Whatever your desire is to do we all want to be successful. However, the road to where we want to be isn’t always going to be paved and well graded with wide shoulders. Instead, it is going to have pot holes, bumps, and bridges that we must cross.  To me, the act of excelling and achieving is rather a process that consists of 3 specific points.

1                .     The desire for greatness

2                .     Expecting the best

3                .     Refusing to quit

As athletes we have the desire to achieve greatness and be the best. This is a desire that has been planted into the entire human race. Each and every one of us in our own way has a desire for greatness.

But what is greatness, TRUE greatness?

To the world, greatness is to exalt over others. This could be in athletics, finances, politics… the general picture here is climbing higher over others most of the time at their expense. The Bible’s definition of greatness is lifting up, helping and loving others without seeking personal recognition or reward. Philippians 2:3-5 says, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition.”

Although we have the desire for greatness, we need to expect the best.

This takes me back to a few summers ago when I spent 3 months in Texas doing roping ministry events and clinics. After clinics, we spent the evenings around a camp fire in worship. I can remember Stran Smith was there that night telling everyone who was gathered that there was a time when he was roping a few practice calves where he had been tying several calves in the 9-second range. As he rode back to the roping chute, a little voice cam to him saying, “You’re not putting your heart into this.” It was then that he realized that he had quit expecting the best that he could do. The next time, he backed into the box and roped his next calf in 8-seconds flat. As most of you know, there is quite a difference between a 9-second run and 8-second run. The difference between the two runs is that he through himself into it because he expected the best.

Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is the substance of things we hope and expect for.”

If we don’t have great expectations then we have nothing to apply our faith to. Everyone has the choice of living by faith, or living in doubt and unbelief, afraid to launch out into what seems totally impossible, but with God all things are possible.

Are you expecting a faster time? If you are, I encourage you to pull on Go for His creativity and direction. Maybe you need to spend a few more swings roping the dummy, taking the turns a little slower around the barrels to find the correct pockets, or a few more minutes in his word. Expect to succeed and don’t let doubt and fear cheat you out of it. Fear is nothing but false evidence that appears to be real. Faith in God makes the impossible possible but first you have to expect it. God wants to you experience his every best, so go for it!

This brings me to my third point, of wanting and expecting to succeed but the truth is that times get hard and desperation of not seeing progress settles sin. I’m sure that most of you have been in these situations where things weren’t going the way you wanted them to. You have received no time after no time, broken barriers, and knocked barrels. It was in times like these that you wanted to cash it all in and give up. Quite frankly that is just the devil getting in the way. However, Champions of the sport and Champions of Christ, refuse to quit. When times like these happen, we need to dig deeper into His word. We are on this journey with God and pursing our life goal, we have defining moments that determines whether we continue by faith or we quit.

There will be times when the enemy gets in the way, and times that no matter how hard you try it is just not going to work. But here is your chance to win or lose. We will only win if we bring it to the cross. Through constant prayer we establish that He is our strength. He is the might and power to get the job done.

Champions push forward because they know victory is down the road. This maybe the most defining quality of a champion. It’s the challenges, difficulties, discouragements, disappointments, and obstacles of every kind that hit their lives and they get up, get back in the race, and go forward. They have the tenacity to keep pressing forward. A champion is an ordinary person who refuses to quite. One more pray. One more day. One more chance.

Each and every one of you are a champion of Christ, and he will make you the champion of your dreams if you have a desire for greatness first and foremost in his kingdom and then in your field. If you are expecting to be the best and you refuse to quit event when the devil tries to get in your way.

Thy Will Be Done

Have you ever had a vision or dream that never came to existence when you wanted it to? Did you tend to get frustrated with the slow processes and ever wondered is anything really going to come of this? Did you doubt God’s love and power through these tough transitions?

Thinking back, I’ve had several ideas God put on my heart and most of the time they were delayed. They hardly, if ever came in the time frame that I was expecting them. I used to find myself praying the “God are you kidding me Prayer.”

           

Lord,

This is happening now? Do you not see my current situation? Am I ever going to meet the right guy? God, am I ever going to get the job I applied for. God, am I ever going to be healed from his chronic pain, or God am I ever going to get somewhere in this relationship where it is easy? God I thought this whole following you thing was going to be different.

Through these tough and stressful times, I have come to realize that we sometimes have to face opposition in order to understand his purpose. Sometimes we have to face the impossible before we really see that God is visible. I’ve realized that God is most powerfully present event when he seems apparently absent.

Anyone who has an authentic relationship with Jesus understands that we all have season on waiting on God in our life. It all seems to be part of the process. It’s not surprising because we see several occasions of the waiting season through scripture. Abraham and Sarah waiting to have a child, Jacob waiting for his wife Rachel, Israelites who wait 40 years before going to the Promise Land, Noah who waits for the flood to recede, the disciples who wait on Jesus to calm the storm after he is crucified and then wait for the resurrection, and the stories keep going.

It’s the undeniable relationship in the bible between crisis and hope, and the undeniable relationship between waiting and being transformed. In today’s culture, we seem to think that faster is always better. We have become seduced by words like fast, simple, easy, instant. We have become quickaholics who depend on what we want, when we want it.

At first glance, it may seem that when nothing goes as planned, all your hope has disappeared and you now sit at a dead end. You have banked on the promises that God has put on your heart. Quite frankly you have been told your entire life that you can bank on those promises of God. You have heard the promises that God is for you and not against you, that He has a plan and purpose for your life, that He is always with you and that He will never leave you nor forsake you, and that God is good all the time and all the time God is good. BUT you may be thinking.. “I’m at a dead end and this whole life thing isn’t turning out the way I thought I thought it was going to turn out.”

IMPORTANT NOTICE: “Just because your dream is delayed to your timing does not mean it is denied!”

It is possible that in this season of waiting, Jesus is going to have you fulfill your greatest and truest purpose. Choose to wait for God to move, choose to wait for God to answer the prayer, and choose to let God reveal your dream in such a way that starts to make sense.

Lord, not my will, but your will be done.