Do Not Harden Your Hearts
Day four in Los Angeles, California
Sometimes I feel that I may be "slapping God in the face" when I feel that God isn't there or that He isn't giving me the guidance that I want. God has been speaking to me but I am the one who is failing to acknowledge it. I'm always wanting more more more and nothing is ever good enough. Everything God has been doing for me I have selfishly labeled as "Not good enough" in turn leading me to believe God isn't doing anything at all. After reading Hebrews 3, I want to learn to listen and be thankful for what God is giving me.
Dear Lord, I pray today that if someone hears your voice that they do not harden their hearts towards you. I pray that they let you in and allow you to direct them with guidance even when it is not what they want it to be.
On The Other Side Of The Struggle
Day 3 in Los Angeles, California
This morning I woke up to a text message from a college friend explaining to me that her grandmother had passed away last night. Throughout our years of school together, she had told me that her grandmother was battling alzheimers. Over the past couple of years, it was evident that the disease was worsening. This is a hard situation to deal with, as I too have witnessed it take over my great grandmother’s life.
Almost 7 years ago, I lot my great grandma to alzheimers. Throughout her pain, it was easy to look at the negative aspects of all that the disease had done to her and what it had taken away from us, her family. There were memories of the last year I spent with her that I wouldn’t trade for anything. From playing cards to talking about her children and husband, some who I never got the chance to meet. Although she couldn’t remember the card number or suit, she did remember the stories from long ago. In the moment of her last hours, I was terrified. This woman meant so much to me; however, after she took her last breath, I felt a sense of peace. Even though I never got to meet the people she talked about in her stories, I began to know them very well through her stories.
During the years of the struggle it’s hard to look beyond the negative, but on the other side of the challenge is a beautiful understanding of stories, people, and places I would have other wise never heard of. Looking back it’s still hard not to cry, but I have a great peace knowing that she is in heaven with her Father.
Dear Lord,
I pray that you wrap those who are in the midst of their struggle with comfort and peace. I pray that even through the hard time they seek to find the positive of the situation.
Amen.
Faithful Losing Is Always A Reminder
Day three in Los Angeles, California
Lately I’ve been thinking about The American and all cowboys who competed. Congrats to Richman Champion for winning the 1.1 Million dollars! Since Sunday, I have run across some of the cowboy’s responses to their performance. Some had positive feedback and others wished they had had a better performance. And while everything is already in the books, I’d like to share my thoughts on “Faithful Losing is should always be a reminder.”
First of all, I am reminded that I cannot put our identity with my event. The times when I think that my self worth comes from what I do rather than who I am are some of the most destructive times in my life. My identity, who I am and who I see myself as, comes from my Creator not my job. The essence of me has a purpose because God put me here for a reason, and I am still here!
Secondly, losing reminds me to never quit persevering, not just in my work, but also in every aspect of my life. Perseverance brings out good qualities in your life. I should persevere in my relationship with my friends, family, and teammates, no matter what happens. I should pursue Christ and persevere in my relationship with Him. If I quit, it doesn’t matter what I do or who I am, I will not be living my life to the fullest as God created me to do.
Thirdly, I get reminded of forgiveness. It’s true! I am reminded that as a messed up person, that I am forgiven. I get more chances to do my best and to do what is right. I get a deeper understanding as to how we cannot work to get into Heaven, but instead we are given freedom in Christ’s forgiveness so that we can live, worry free, for eternity. Do I worry? Yes. Do I get anxious and nervous? Yes, of course, but with Christ, there is hope. There is a future and it is for eternity.
Although I may be upset with myself when I don’t perform to my expected level but I am always encouraged and reminded when I lose. I may lose some confidence and I may get mad, but I always am assured of God’s love for me. Win or lose, I am a follower of Christ first, a few other priorities next, then I purse my other priorities with perseverance.
Lord,
I pray that through our performances you work in us. I pray that we realize that with everything that we do, you are always part of the cheering section and want the best for us. And when we do fail to meet our expectations, you are there comforting us with your forgiveness.
