Learning To Love Myself Again

Hi Sweet Friends,

Welcome to the Coffee Chat Devotional. I am so excited that you could join me. A dear friend of mine reached out to me this week about possibly doing a devotional about life and the ups and downs young women face. So Today, I'm excited to jump back into blogging and begin the Coffee Chat Devotional. Where we talk about the triumphs and trials, changes and challenges, and everything in between. This is going to be raw and real. Discussing the different stages of my life that I haven't shared with anyone before. The events that a paper, a pen and a guitar only know. From relationships with HIM and how to find Him in our everyday lives. To learning to love ourselves, traveling and transformations, best friends, and REALLY great coffee combinations! It's a reminder that nothing is too broken for God to heal or redeem, and to dare to say yes to the plan he has for our lives.

This part of the devotional is all about IDENTITY. About feeling comfortable in your own skin and learning to truly love ourselves instead of being our own worst critics, so are you ready!?

Like I mentioned, everything is going to be honest, raw, and real. To that, there have been many season in my life when I just cannot give myself a break! Every time I look in the mirror, every action, every thought, is just a reminder that I fell short of all the things that I could be, could do, or could look like but don't.

Until this past year, I've never really been confident in my own skin. Where do I begin...
Most don't know this, but I grew up wrestling. I started hitting the mat when I was in fourth grade. Despite the harsh comments by others, I absolutely loved the sport, I struggled to make weight all the time! Eating little to nothing. When I made weight, I finally felt good about myself; however, I was starving, fragile, and weak.

During my freshman year of high school, I tried out for the dance team. Where we would dance during basketball half time shows and wrestling meets. During tryouts, I overheard the captain talk with her girl friend about the new outfits and stating, "With the new outfits and all, she's a little too big, and I just don't think she would be a good fit for the team." Reminder, I was weighing in for wrestling meets at 112 lbs. After the season, I quickly gained 25-30 lbs and ate everything in sight. I literally ate EVERYTHING in sight. Why? Because I finally could!

After high school, I moved to college. Over 1,000 miles away, and I was ready to take my health into my own hands and I did. Eating healthy, working out through the demands of a D1 college track and field program. Once it was time for our field event practices to start, it was almost like I was back on the weight watchers program. I was a pole vaulter and the meet officials were very strict about not weighing more than the weight listed on the pole. The numbers on the scale numbers starred me in the face once again.

Fast forward to today, where I am FINALLY back at a point where I'm confident in my own Skin! How did I do it!?

1. Threw out the scale! I had let the number on the scale define who I was from fourth grade up until a year ago. Girls, let me tell you the number on the scale doesn't define you! You are NOT a number, you are so much more.

2. I stopped comparing myself to others. I would regularly compare myself to co-workers, friends, family, and even people that I didn't know! Reality is, she isn't you, and you are not her! You are uniquely you and he created you in His image. There is so much beauty in that!

3. Heads up...this is the hardest on ever! Every morning before I put on makeup or did anything, I would stand in front of a mirror and look myself in the eye and tell myself 3 things that I loved about me. I still do this every morning and it trips me up sometimes, but I continue to find new things that I absolutely love about myself.

4. Prayer - The greatest weapon is prayer! Through the struggle, He became my best friend and He still is!

Life is too hard and far too short to be our own worst critics and it never seems to help us get any better anyway. Good things don't come out of shame. Good things come out of kindness, support, and encouragement. I encourage you to talk to yourself as you would a friend. "Great job," "You're beautiful".... And if you never are your own worst critic let's meet up so you can teach me your ways.

Take time this week to pay more attention to your thoughts. What kind of things are you saying to yourself. Are you your own worst critic or do you talk to yourself like a friend.

Have a blessed day!
- Bobbi LeAnn