Sunday, May 5, 2013

Fear is Loud! Jan. 14, 2013



“FEAR IS LOUD”

Only in the quietest silence, the moments of stillness, and the acts of non-goal oriented are there fears of “What if’s.” I’ve only dreamt have having a professional career since I was nearly 5. Today I’m at Belmont University in Nashville, TN, music city, studying and surrounded by music. All I’ve ever wanted is right here in front of me. So what is now that is holding me back from pursing what I’ve always dreamed of? Is it Home? Family? A relationship? Fear of job opportunities? Fear of going all the way and making it big? In reality, I want this more than anything. one and a half years have already gone by too fast, and one is completely underway and catching speed as I write. Before long, graduation time will be here and…. REAL LIFE starts. Am I ready? Do I even have to be. Decisions. Decisions….
Is it home? Where family resides, where I can easily get away and find a peace of mind. Where a long line of memories where made. Where I want to raise a family.
Is it family? The people who have supported me through all my life decisions. Even through the decision of moving 1,000 miles away to chase my dream. The people who have held me up when I’ve been down. The people I want to be around.
A relationship? The man I fell completely in love. The man that I just can’t get enough of. The man who brings happiness and joy in my life. The man that I could see myself spending forever with. The man that I gave myself to. But are his dreams and plans complementary to mine? Should I let that get in my way of chasing my own dreams? If I choose to follow mine would he stay with me?
Fear of Job opportunities? Dream job out of college…yeah that rarely happens. Will I get my dream job? Am I ready to find out!?
Making it big? Is it the lights, the fame, the fortune. Or is it a combination of everything that makes this my excuse of not trying?
The time is NOW. truth is I only think of this all the time because Fear is LOUD!!! Real Loud. So loud that its time to step back and let the power of Christ come through. 

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