“FEAR IS LOUD”
Only in the quietest silence, the
moments of stillness, and the acts of non-goal oriented are there fears of
“What if’s.” I’ve only dreamt have having a professional career since I was
nearly 5. Today I’m at Belmont University in Nashville, TN, music city,
studying and surrounded by music. All I’ve ever wanted is right here in front
of me. So what is now that is holding me back from pursing what I’ve always
dreamed of? Is it Home? Family? A relationship? Fear of job opportunities? Fear
of going all the way and making it big? In reality, I want this more than
anything. one and a half years have already gone by too fast, and one is
completely underway and catching speed as I write. Before long, graduation time
will be here and…. REAL LIFE starts. Am I ready? Do I even have to be.
Decisions. Decisions….
Is it home? Where family resides,
where I can easily get away and find a peace of mind. Where a long line of
memories where made. Where I want to raise a family.
Is it family? The people who have
supported me through all my life decisions. Even through the decision of moving
1,000 miles away to chase my dream. The people who have held me up when I’ve
been down. The people I want to be around.
A relationship? The man I fell
completely in love. The man that I just can’t get enough of. The man who brings
happiness and joy in my life. The man that I could see myself spending forever
with. The man that I gave myself to. But are his dreams and plans complementary
to mine? Should I let that get in my way of chasing my own dreams? If I choose
to follow mine would he stay with me?
Fear of Job opportunities? Dream job
out of college…yeah that rarely happens. Will I get my dream job? Am I ready to
find out!?
Making it big? Is it the lights, the
fame, the fortune. Or is it a combination of everything that makes this my
excuse of not trying?
The time is NOW. truth is I only think
of this all the time because Fear is LOUD!!! Real Loud. So loud that its time
to step back and let the power of Christ come through.
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